As I approach the second year mark of crashing on my mom's couch, I decided to reflect on my time here. Don't get me wrong -- I appreciate my mom's generosity. I really do. And without her, I'd be sleeping in my car. She took me in after swearing she wouldn't (That's what moms do). And even though it's been a burden on everyone, the situation hasn't been as bad as it could have been. But just because I appreciate my mom doesn't mean I can't complain about it.
1) What is Privacy? Living at home means that privacy is non-existent. Everything is a free-for-all. Everyone listens to everyone else's phone conversations. You have something sitting in a bag? Well, someone is going to go through it. And the worst part is that my brother's friends dig through my things too. Nothing is sacred.
2) What's Mine is Yours and Yours is Yours. Heaven forbid I touch anything of my brother's in this house. But, all my stuff is apparently fair game to him. This is a very touchy subject in my house so I'll just leave it at that.
3) Thank God I'm Not Dating Anymore. Mike doesn't count anymore. He's the boyfriend. And he has to deal with my family. But, I couldn't imagine trying to date new people. I definitely wouldn't be able to bring anyone back to my place - especially since I live on the couch. And, when I used to date, it would be a constant, "Where are you going? Who are you going with?" It's a little weird to explain to mom - "Well, I'm meeting a man from the internet for a date."
4) Revert Back to Childhood. When you get my brother and I together, we immediately act like we're children again. I'm 24 and he's 17, but you would never know it from how we act together. Not like it's always a bad thing, but he's always trying to wrestle with me. And, it was fun when I was bigger than him, but now that I'm smaller than him - that shit hurts!
5) No Incentive. There's little to no incentive to try to leave because there's that safety net. If I didn't have my mom's kindness, I definitely would have found a different job by now. But, I can take my time because my mom isn't kicking me out anytime soon .... I hope. Why work hard when you can hang out?
6) What Happened to Saving Money? The whole point of crashing here was to save enough money to get back on my feet. But, then I went on a vacation. And another vacation. Because I don't have rent to pay. That extra money just flies away. Which is a big reason why I'm really buckling down on budgeting this year so I can finally move out.
7) Oh, the Resentment. This is not an all the time problem, but it flares up occasionally. Sometimes, my brother gets mad that I get it easy. I'm not paying rent and I'm taking up space. And that upsets him. I totally get it. Sometimes my mom gets mad about it. I totally get it. And it makes me feel terrible that they resent me. But, what are you going to do?
Living at home is honestly great ... sometimes. I get to see my family everyday. I don't have to pay rent. I'm in my neighborhood. But, I really do want to get on out of here. Two years is an incredibly long time to squat in someone's living room.
Labels: lists, living at home, personal