I've never felt this way about a food group before. You make everything better. Cheesy pizza. Milk and cookies. You're an enhancer of already delicious things.
And alone, you are magical too. Muenster cheese. Havarti. My favorite yogurt. Ice cream.
I'm salivating at the thought.
But you've hurt me. You wreck my stomach and leave me bloated and gassy and constipated. You give me blisters in my mouth. You're no good for me.
So, it is with a heavy heart that I have to give you up. No more dairy. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I have to do it cold turkey.
We had a great week last week -- or at least my taste buds did because I had a perm-stomachache all week. It was worth it to give you the farewell you deserved.
Good bye, Dairy.
I won't let you hurt me anymore.